And a normal day it was,
I still remember,
my mom running errands of the day,
readying me for the school
finding the hidden tie somewhere in
the old cottage
 
and I had a last look then,
she was up in the early morning
we broke no words,
but she found my tie and left
for the backyard.

a secret died with her
following her suicidal act,
for a year she was on her deathbed
heart beat consorting, but no motion,

in a coma she was for life… 

and what was the reason ?
Was it my parent’s materialistic values
or their reflection of love for daughter
to marry her off at early age
to save her from evil eyes of society -
what was it?
In days, she was heading for a new life,
coloured with new family,
to wed a puppet of my parents eye
 
still at the young age,
I could try to reason myself,
what was in her heart?
Did she know something strange about her
future life ?
Was there no hope left in her ?
And did she not think about alternatives
before hanging herself with the cruel rope
around the death fan !

her heart was so weak,
that it could not burst out with true feelings ?

and how did she find a rope ?
With sun shining,
how did the thought of ending life
came in her psyche
wish I could know then,
wish I could sense something
and wish my parents were not thinking
about the good future of her….

]]> http://awakeningpsyche.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/a-normal-day-it-was/feed/ 8 awakeningpsyche http://awakeningpsyche.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/alchemy-of-love/ http://awakeningpsyche.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/alchemy-of-love/#comments Thu, 23 Feb 2012 02:25:54 +0000 Pawan Hira (awakeningpsyche) http://awakeningpsyche.wordpress.com/?p=910 Continue reading →]]>

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an essence of purity I feel

as I lay in your lap

a numb feeling overtakes me,

when your hands travel rough on my hair

we dive into the nature

sitting on the porch

an old feeling overwhelms

you brush your nose on my forehead

and sweep all the tension curling

through the lines

a drop of tear forms and shelves

near my chin, settles and evaporates

into the thin air,

leaving a dry patch on the skin

in their heart

a mantra to sacrifice for their country

and on the shoulders of young breed,

lies the fate of future

and a future to come

with bleeding of society

what good has a war given ?

Detestation and ill will

and this young soldiers fight for their

country’s pride

for what thought has seeped in their psyche ?

Do they not know,

the aftermath of wars ?

What courage do they have instilled within

to march ahead on the orders

of political governance ?

A friendly talk cannot harm

the pride of each country,

but only to run for the blood of innocent

is a cowardice rather than

honouring soldiers with medals and awards

is this not a mass crime ?

Where everyone should be hanged

in the charges of murder ?

I’m still looking for that new wave

of peace,

where in no conflicts arise

and

everyone evolves as peaceful warrior……..

wavery wind,

poaching blood,

outpouring evil thoughts

abatement of desires

chopped on the palette

knifed in pieces

every desire

my nous knows

to serve

a colourful soul

spiced with love

topped whitely

a pure awareness

she danced with her soul that night

brooding over the reminisces

swaying her feet

feeding her soul

for an awakening

and there were people to applaud

her moves,

with lights fading away

in the distant

she could hear the gasps of their souls

wanting to be free like her

to dance whimsically on the tune of life

revelation touched her feet

in a omnipresent stature

she stood

breathing out the burden of years

sprinkling her sweats of wisdom

in the hearts of queer watchers

ending the struggle and dance

with life

surrendered in the dark

with a soul, so bright

on the new stage of eternal life

ruins stored in a matchbox

cities bundled in haystacks,

stained with the salty bedsheet

years of pain and blood of wars,

lines of poet inscribed

on the body of love,

whimsical moves of dancers

confined within a wall,

paintings juxtaposed

in the barren field,

and

with a single matchstick to ignite

the fires of society

to burn the works of soul

just to weave a cloth

with dirty politics of mind !

Soul Discovery Mix 08 + Soul Discovery Hilton Special (Photo credit: Soul Portrait)

paraded, little souls

encircling the bounds of war zone

to shed blood for blood

for what ?

A peaceful country?

A virtuous world ?

To outshine the same species

and evolve as survivors

for the fittest civilization

for what ?

A stable economy ?

A nature’s friend ?

But miles far away

few souls

braided with two ounce of hope

make love to each other

cold-shouldering values and religion

not heeding the

hoax of politics and wars

for what ?

A moment of love!

unveil

and I remained silent then

you ripped me in the bedroom,

pounding with your tiny ego

and I remained silent then

you showed others

how pricey I was

and how I was your sex slave

and I remained silent then

you garnered attention

for your manhood before this coward society

and you laughed at my innocence

and again I remained silent

and

now I’m not there

to fellate your Lilliputian tool

still you stand tall with integrity,

facing this coward breed

and together you all jape

at my denuded self

but this time

I keep silence

within

for I’m still pure

and my heart pities

for your treachery self

for you unclothed me

but you could never

kill the pure soul

that grew

with each inhumane experience of yours

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I asked for love

and you said

I will give you love

and

within minutes your love was over

there you slumbered

with your filth on the sheets,

bottling up the promise

and everyday you continued

saying, “this is love, my baby”

and you gagged my screams

in the bed-sheet

what love is then for me ?

For I could not decipher

your starved love

but you;

you are full of vanity

and this body in which you unbosom

your sex drive

after coming home,

is restless and bereft

for in this love

no words are spoken

only my cries

welt each day within

as you take me in between

releasing your hunger

and you

still say

“this is love baby!”

canoe of hope

floating in the thundery night,

not a seafarer to lead,

it drifts along, alone

to fight the waves

and miles far away,

a soul meditates

to bestow peace within

fighting the chaotic waves

of society

redeeming the hope for canoe

to be still in the waters

an abstract alliance between

the soul and canoe,

sensing each other’s wants,

one seeks for a horizon of love

other for freedom of society,

blending the connection

to lead for a single path

to freeze the wave of illusion

induced with fears,

to free the civilization from chaos

a cloud of hope forms above

bringing alone the essence of peace

and this time it rains endlessly

washing the fiery mind

to savour the wetness

of real being